The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend....

Didn't I tell you in my last post it was hard to blog everyday?? 

It is... especially when your husband introduces you to Clash of Clans....... (stop laughing at me)

Now normally I am not a big TV watcher or video game player as it annoys the crap out of me and I feel like I'm wasting my life away.....

Last week I noticed my husband was on his phone more than usual (as he's normally only on it for business if people call or text). He doesn't have a Facebook account and never uses the business Instagram (even though I tell him he needs too!) 

I was feeling a little curious suspicious.... you know like the crazy girlfriend who has to know all your passwords to everything so she can check on you to make sure you aren't cheating on her right? 

Like you've never been (or had) one of those....

I didn't think my husband was cheating on me and I didn't go through his phone... I've learned from past relationships if that's something I feel I have to do he probably was is... 

Nope. I didn't go all crazy ex-girlfriend style on him (that never really panned out for me)... I simply asked what he was doing ... 

seriously... who knew talking to a guy at a normal level actually works??? (therapy must be working) 

Convo: 

Me, "Hi honey.... so what exactly are you doing on your phone all the time lately?"

Juuuuuuust kidding!!.... I REALLY said in a annoyed tone, "Why are you wasting so much time on your phone?"

His eyes lit up as he showed me the game and how awesome his village is.

I rolled my eyes and said, "you know how much stuff we could get done in the Smart Success course we are taking if you stopped wasting your time on that silly stupid game??"

A few days later he was talking about this “clan” he and some of the guys from the Big Birge Plumbing Team were in… I was feeling left out. A few days ago I decided to download it just to see what all the fuss was about.  

Then he told me our foreman said I should join their clan jokingly. Knowing I probably wouldn’t… I wanted to surprise them and join their clan so I could fit in. So I figured out how to do it and how it worked…. 

Worst. Mistake. EVER!

 As I am writing this I am nervous someone is going to “attack” my village and steal my gold!! (sigh)

I got sucked in. 

I'm embarrassed by it because it's not at all productive in any way. Although my husband will argue that, 

"It's like building our business baby. I mean look.... when you get money you upgrade your stuff and train your team to be better. Then you have to build back up again after you spend it... the cycle goes on. So one day we will have a nice big shop with the best plumbing team in Omaha if we keep investing in them." 

I guess he kind of has a point but I sure do hope we don't get attacked by other "villages" and they destroy everything we've built..... 

Anyways so yeah... that's where my blog writing time has been spent....... I'm sorry I feel like I've been cheating on you. Just for the record as soon as I am done writing this post I will be deleting that app off my phone because, as with SUGAR, it's a toxin in my life and it's taking away from things I REALLY want and need to be doing to make my dreams a reality.

As you know if you've been following me (start here if you'd like) I've been doing a 21 day (almost) no processed sugar... normally I will post my meals for the day and chit chat about whatever comes out of my head. 

I just want you to know I have NOT ventured to eating sugar these past 4 days and haven't gone off my challenge... (yay! be proud!) I am not going to post my food today though (maybe next time).


**WARNING** This might get a little mushy and personal from here out. The reason I share all this with you is because I realize how fake and unrealistic the world is (says the girl whose photoshopped face is on the side of her husbands plumbing truck right? stop it! it's marketing and fun!) I'd like to be real with you in hopes not only does it bring value to you but also, maybe someone, somewhere is reading this and they need to know they are not alone in life or in their feelings. 

Back to the crazy ex-girlfriend..... so as you found out last week in this blog... I went to my first counseling session to explore EMDR type of therapy with my husband...

I had my 2nd appointment this past week (remember I'm more crazy than he is)... it made me realize.....I really was a crazy girlfriend at one point in my life (So that would make me the crazy ex-girlfriend right?). 

haha.... yes I remember these days. 

Not just in boy/girl relationships but also in other relationships as well. I wont go into details but I WILL say I didn't realize it at the time... 

Yes I DO realize I was young, it was NOT all my fault (by any means).... a relationship takes 2 people wanting & working to be together. 

I also realize I clearly wasn't supposed to be with these people. As they were brought into my life as leverage to bring me to where I am today and where they belong as well. Now I have this amazing beautiful life I never imagined I'd ever have or believed I deserved. 

Natasha Barker Photography 

You may be wondering where on earth I am going with this...

This sounds so cliche  but everything happens for a reason....seriously you HAVE got to look at your life this way. 

My last appointment opened my eyes to realize I pushed (and still do) so many people away because of all the abuse I had in my younger years (My parents did the best they could. I do not blame any of this on them anymore. Most all of this happened outside of their control in and out of foster homes.)

I didn't believe I deserved to be loved, I didn't believe I deserved to be successful, I didn't believe I was good enough. I wasn't happy with myself. 

I ended up with an eating disorder and an attachment disorder. I wasn't happy with who I was.. I tried so hard to be but I didn't know how. I had this little girl inside me trying to get out so as i have gotten older my little girl comes out into my thoughts and feelings of anxiousness, self doubt and fear. 

This last session also made me realize that is why so many relationships I wanted so bad to succeed did not ... not just because they weren't right for me but also because I wasn't happy with myself. That shows... even if you're really good at hiding it it will eventually come out. 

You cannot be happy with anyone else if you are not happy with yourself.

Side note: I like to think I came up with this quote because I googled it and it hasn't been deemed yet... there are others similar but not word for word.... you know what this means right?

TWEETABLE! @Lallenia #Lallenia Yeah buddy!! (do it!)

Being happy with yourself is something that is a struggle for millions of people. I am starting to realize this is a choice. No one makes you happy but you. No matter what life you have been through, how much money you have and how many friends. 

People can make you feel happy when you're around them and material things can make you feel better about yourself but in the end it is your choice. If you struggle with this... go find help and don't give up if you don't mesh with the first person or thing you try. 

This is the reason I workout, try my hardest to eat healthier and now go to therapy is because these are things I can control in my life and they help to make me happier and a better person. I feel strong and capable when I make healthy choices mentally and physically. 

Also remember that everything you go through is for a reason. You may not think so at the time and it may be really hard and a HUGE struggle but I promise you it will lead you to where you need to be and who you need to be with.... and with a story to tell along the way =) Everyone has a story. 

This is just a snip of my story I shared today in hopes it will help someone who maybe is that crazy girlfriend (or boyfriend) or there is something inside you feeling anxious or self doubt...... take a deep breath, get in your "happy" place and realize You cannot be happy with anyone else if you are not happy with yourself. 

Go out there take chances, make mistakes, don't be afraid to be yourself. Don't be afraid to fail. 

Also if you see a young person or child who looks alone in the world and sad.... tell them they are beautiful, smart and important.. That they are placed on this earth because they are very special. These words (even if from a stranger) will stick in their head and help them believe they were put on this earth for a reason. It will help them not to give up or get sucked into the life they were given.... trust me I know this as I am one of those children.

Thanks for reading and remember to always keep yourself happy (healthy), fit, and fabulous!!

Love you!

XoXo

*Lallenia*

Slightly Inappropriate

Holy cow it's hard to blog EVERYDAY!!! Really.... I hope the people that do get paid big bucks for it..... (and if you do and you are reading this..... teach me how please!!!) 

So this is for Monday (yesterday) and Today =) that way I am all caught up... deal?? 

WARNING: You MAY find one of my Tuesday food choices post entertaining or a little disturbing. If it offends you I am apologizing right now... and if it does honestly offend you then you and I are probably not very good friends and wouldn't get along well in real life... but I still love you anyways no worries. 

If you are new to me..... Check out this blog that explains my 21 day (almost) no processed sugar free diet I am doing for myself.... if you just want to jump into my blog...welcome to my crazy life and enjoy the ride.....(good luck) 

Monday 

I DID get up and run 15 hills this day.... be proud! And yes I thought I was going to die.... I'm super out of "shape" meaning I haven't worked out for a while and physically cannot do what i used to... yet. 

Breakfast:

What you are looking at is my breakfast.... Pretty isn't it?

This would be left over ground beef and a sweet potato.... yum! You should try it sometime!

*In case you couldn't tell.... I am not a good picture taker of food.... or of anything else for that matter... I'm just learning how to take selfies as well so bear with me please....

Lunch... honestly I don't remember.... My guess is this coffee since I took a picture of it

 Coffee with almond milk & sugar free chocolate syrup.

I'm pretty sure I ate some Natural Peanut butter on top of a Matzo as well again today like the other day.

Munched on some carrots and celery...

Oh and then my dog got sick.... sad isn't it???? He was coughing all day and throwing up.... It was like a sick child!! Took him into the vet and they think he has Kennel Cough... weird since he isn't around other dogs much... but hopefully that's it and it will go away with antibiotics.

look at my poor baby at the vet

Then when i got home I was starving!!!!

I may have ate half a bag of corn chips, cheese and salsa... my very own Nachos! (half the bag was a bad idea right??)

I should get an award for the ugliest food pictures. 

We REALLY do have pretty bowls and plates i promise... i just don't like to use them unless we have company.... I can't be the only one like that can I?

While i was eating my "Hangry" away (that's a slang word for REALLY hungry FYI) my son wanted me to play the game memory. He set it all up and was so excited for me to play with him...of course I was all for it.... then we started playing... he knew where EVERY match was so i didn't even get a turn.... such a turd! I asked him how come you know where they all are... Did you cheat?

He looks at me and says.... "Mama, I NEVER cheat! I just always win because I set them up...."
I like his style. And his moves... Check it:

see how big his pile is? so not fair

Now onto Tuesday (today):

Breakfast was (GASP) White bread and scrambled eggs... why white bread?... it has not even one gram of sugar in the brand I found so it's game for this challenge (go ahead cuss me out in your head right here)... I don't over eat it so it's not something that affects me much...it was delicious and I don't regret it. Of course I also had my Coffee.... I may be slightly addicted.

Zuek was feeling a little better but still not himself all day... so sad!

Wyatt's favorite buddy

Lunch:
I was so cold and just wanted soup so I had canned healthy choice (1g sugar) and crunch master crackers.

Do you like my soup bowl??

I was still crazy hungry and wanted something sweet... or bad for you... Our chocolate chips were out of the question and so was the last ice cream bar in our freezer (don't tell my husband about it it's mine in 13 days)

I decided to be a good girl and follow though with her challenge. I came upon peanut butter and a banana... usually i will put honey on it as it's SOO good!!! Really... probably one of my foods, so much so that it would be part of my last meal if I had a choice.

I went to take a few selfies of this for you guys then realized my mouth on a banana may not look like the most appropriate pictures to be putting on the Internet.. especially in my glasses (I can imagine the headlines right now)..... so I settled with this one to share.

I REALLY need to get more creative with my pictures.....

I did a super quick workout in my basement... can i just say I miss it SO much?? Working out brings me so much joy, happiness, and drive in life! I came up with some awesome workouts anyone can do especially if they haven't worked out in a while... Pray I get enough courage to do a video soon.... (I'm intimidated by doing videos... who would have thought right?) Maybe if i get enough encouragement I will start doing some and get more comfortable.... so speak up if you want me to!!

And finally I had a business meeting tonight with a girl I basically forced to be my friend because I LOVED who she is and what she is about! Afterwards we went to Perkins... and guess what... I had decaf coffee with 2 shots of half and half (imagining it was Baileys Creamer) Did you know there isn't any sugar in half and half?  (for real. google it.)

I feel such a major relief getting all caught up and not having to mess up my morning work load getting a blog from the previous day out. And remember... IF you know how to make a living just blogging... let me know as long as it is appropriate and doesn't involve anything shaped like a banana, I'm in!

Whew, it's late I'm tired.... Catch ya tomorrow night! Only 12 days left until I get to eat processed sugar! I think I will have cheesecake, brownie, apple pie, pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cookie, lemon bar, ... OH! I know!!! a cinnamon roll from Wheatfields.... YEEES!

On a side note I totally feel like I am not as puffy and feel as gross since I've removed (most) processed sugar for 8 days as of now... even after eating half a bag of corn chips. =)

Keep yourself Healthy Fit and Fabulous with small changes one by one!

Love you ALL (even the haters I love you too)!!!!

XoXo,
*Lallenia*

Hidden Sugar & Sunday Snuggles

Urgh... I tried SO hard to get this out last night... but again... it didn't happen. Maybe I need to be a little bit nicer to myself right? I mean at least I'm still doing one for each day. I'm SOOO NOT a night person... I try but I don't function well after 9pm... like at all. My husband on the other hand... exact opposite.

I love to workout in the morning.... he likes to workout at night.
I love to read in the morning..... he likes to read in the evening (unless it's the bible, he'll read for a little bit in the morning to start his day).
I love to see the sunrise... he loves to see the sunset.
I love to meet new people and friends he'd rather sit at home and watch football.
I love to listen to podcasts and audiobooks when I drive he'd rather listen to music when he drives.
and the list goes on....

Isn't amazing how differently people operate? I can't tell you how many times I've tried to change his habits or routines... all that does is get's us into screaming fights or someone resenting one another....

Ok I'm lying .... i STILL try to change his habits and routines... and this is why I am going to counseling sessions..... haha don't believe me?... Check this post out....

I guess I don't really believe our routines or differences make us argue...  if I am being 100% honest I'm using this as an excuse... it's just a matter of working with each other in a productive way in which I, personally, have a control issue and need to figure out why I think everything has to be done my way only..... (did I seriously JUST admit this!!!???... please don't tell my husband.... he tells me this all the time and I deny it.... it just came out onto this keyboard.... shhhhh... it can be our secret k??)

Side note: Don't worry we don't argue ALL the time btw... just when I don't get my way.... ;-)

This is also why I started this 21 day of (almost) no processed sugar diet (aka no crazy amounts of sugar in my diet)... I want it to be MY way and not someone else or some diet plan telling me what to eat. If i just remove the one thing that drives me into over eating on my own terms than maybe I will feel better and start learning how to control my cravings on my own. Then maybe I'd be ready to follow someone else's program (maybe).. please tell me I'm not the only one that feels this way?? I just want to rebel against what I'm "supposed" to do or what everyone else is doing... This probably has a lot to do with how I was raised and something I need to work on. Thank goodness i had good people in my life that all came together to raise me or I could've been a seriously troubled child... worse than I probably was.

** If you're new. (HIIII).. you probably think I'm super crazy already by these first few paragraphs... you can either start HERE or just keep reading and hop on board.... fair warning sometimes this turns into my diary and i don't know what will come out of my fingers..... 

Ok on to day 6 of this challenge I created for me:

Well first... who else has sunday morning snuggles with their family?? And has a  husband and son with longer eyelashes than them??? (I'm so envious of Brad's and Wyatt's eyelashes... is that weird??)

sunday morning snuggles

*I lOVE the filters on instagram.... my face looks super smooth for first thing in the morning =)



Breakfast: The BEST egg casserole EVER! (for real!) A woman brought this to a MOPS group I was part of last year and I fell in LOVE with it! It is a green chili puff egg casserole. SOOO good!!!! Almost NO carbs and the only sugar in it is from the cottage cheese. It is high in fat but fat isn't as deadly as sugar in my opinion....

 mmmmmm......

10 eggs
1 pt. 2% cottage cheese
1 lb. Jack cheese, shredded 
1/2 c. sifted flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2-4 cans diced green chiles

Beat eggs and add everything else. Pour into buttered 9 x 13 inch dish or two 9 inch pie plates (glass). Bake 35 minutes at 350 degrees or until firm and knife comes out clean. Can be reheated after baking. Mushrooms or spinach may be added instead of chiles.

I DID modify the flour for a gluten free one as thats all I had on hand.... still turned out awesome! 

Then we went to church and saw our friend "Shirt" on the way out playing in the storm sewer like always.....

peek a boo!

My son seriously named him Shirt... I'm scared for his future children!

After this I was totally able to talk my husband into going to see Big Hero 6 with us!!!!
Such a cute movie! I'd say it ranks up there with Frozen... for real! Not as much singing but really touching and adorable.

these chairs.... new goal in my life... have a basement theatre with chairs like this...best thing EVER!

Before the movie we had Chipotle...

Love this place as it's really easy to eat healthy here! We didn't even order any popcorn or drinks at the movie.. I was so proud! (its the little things)

After the movie I totally ate my sons other taco he didn't eat as my pre-workout meal.... it was small!

Then we did a quick workout at the gym. I did some leg stuff....

It's SO weird not being able to workout like I used to because of my shoulder issues. There was this cute little chick working out next to me doing push ups off of dumbbells (which were one of my FAVORITE exercises back in the day)... I seriously wanted to kick her in the face because I was jealous... it would've totally been an accident.... but no worries I restrained and went to another part of the gym.

We were busy today!

I made Brad come with me to meet some new friends for dinner.... it was a contractor in town and his wife ... who I LOVE and hope to share more about her with you soon! I brought a caesar salad and they had pizza.

 OH NO!!! I guess this is where I messed up entirely.. .I really didn't think there was much sugar in pizza... turns out there is 2.7-6g per slice depending on the place that makes it.... I just looked it up and saw that.. I should've done my research before hand but it is totally one of those things I just assumed there was probably only a little bit to help the dough and in the sauce... I didn't think there was going to be as much as there is.

Super annoying!

Normally, this would be a good point for me to quit (and go eat Wyatt's halloween candy)... instead i learned from that and won't eat it again while doing the challenge. Much better than getting all mad at myself and giving up.

It was also really weird not eating a dessert when visiting friends! I mean how fun is it to pull out a brownie cake you make for company that comes over... nope. nadda. nothing. sad day.... but thank goodness because that would've been SUPER hard to resist.... I would have because of you though no worries... and no more pizza unless i make it!

I REALLY need to reconcile our business accounts for october so I will catch you all later =)

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous and watch out for hidden sugar!!!

XoXo,
*Lallenia*

Joy and Matzos

This is for yesterday! 

I'm so sad I am a day behind posting these! My goal is to get back on track tonight!!!

I will do my best to keep this one short and to the point! =) 

If you're new to me welcome!!! I'm Lallenia!! I am doing a 21 day challenge of trying not to eat processed sugar... well if it has 2g or less that is. You can start by reading HERE if you'd like or just jump in! 

Today (saturday) I've had a bit of an obsession with PB! Not like I used to... now i can control it but I craved it ALL day! 

Breakfast:

One of my favorites!!!

1/2 cup rolled oats cooked

1 TBLSP natural PB

1 Scoop Protein Powder (usually I'd use chocolate but we didn't have any)

a splash of Coconut milk

SO GOOD! When I use chocolate protein (or mix in cocoa powder) it tastes like a PB chocolate cookies.... well I mean... kind of.. with imagination .... you get it. 

This was kind of a late breakfast.

a few hours later I was CRAVING PB again!!! On toast with coffee.... weird right? 

The other night when I was looking for bread without sugar in it..... Hey I know bread isn't the BEST choice but it's better than eating candy, cookies, or cake... well not BETTER... but it's better. 

I found that my husbands all time favorite bread (rotellas) had the least amount! Less than 1g for TWO. 

All the wheat breads, ryes and oatmeal based had 2-4g for ONE piece.... crazy. So he was excited to see it when he got home. 

I ate 2 1/2  pieces of toast, 1 with PB the others with just cinnamon and butter..... so freaking good. 

 I know many of you reading this are probably pointing your nose up at me as bread is like completely OFF limits, especially to my paleo friends.... I get that. and normally i don't eat it all that much... but for this challenge I'm not going to place it as "off limits". If you read about my struggle yesterday then this makes sense. =) 

Side note: for those of you who DO struggle with eating too much PB.... I started getting the natural kind (usually) because yes WAY less sugar but also because it satisfy my craving but it doesn't make me want to eat the whole jar like Skippy or Jif does. 

I was still wanting something sweet.... so I had a..... you guessed it! POMEGRANATE! 

Check out the health benefits:

I did eat the whole thing again.... it's SUPER good! If it weren't for how time consuming it is to getting the seeds out I'd probably eat 2 of these every day. 

I was going to go to the gym earlier but time got away from me and by the time I was about to Kids Club was to be closed (my husband was at work). When he got home i went for a 4 mile run.... Can I just say I REALLY LOVE to run..... I hate it because I know in order to build muscle and look tight I should be doing sprints and lifting heavy weights... I like those too but I REALLY get a joy from running 3-6 miles. It puts me in a happy place, a different one from strength training. 

This also gives me joy... my beautiful fat kitty sitting like this: 

how cute is she??? so funny!!!! 

Dinner time: 

Wyatt and I snacked on sweet baby bell peppers.... YUM!!!!!!! 

He sees me taking pictures of my food and asks Why.... I tell him it's because I am showing my friends the healthy choices I am trying to make. So wyatt said lets show them I eat healthy too!! Here you go folks =) 

my nose looks SOOOO long... well it kinda is ... oh well... 

I cooked up some grass fed ground beef with taco spices and was planning on having nachos. Then I found my salad that will go bad soon so I made a taco salad.... 

I used these Matzos things instead of chips... we didn't have any at the time.... it was good. This is so weird but i REALLY like the Matzos with PB and jelly on them as well if I'm not eating bread..... I'm also learning you can use these in substitute for a lot of other recipes like lasagna and cakes.... fun!!!!

I still wanted something sweet so my husband picked these up: 

Then I made this: 

It was ok.... it was creamy but not the same as using cow milk. If I didn't use the greek yogurt then it wouldn't have been creamy just watery. I found this on a weight watchers website =) 

1 Package of pistachio sugar free pudding (or any flavor you want)

1/2 cup greek yogurt

1/2 cup almond milk

That was my day =) 

This isn't diet or fitness related but I was sent this skin stuff  called Nerium to try from a girlfriend  in Cheyenne WY... I normally use Olay face lotion. 

I told her  I would take before pictures and after. I figured I'd share the results with you too.  Fresh out of the shower and NO make up on (no judging please) 

my face is SO red.... all the time. 

I am hoping this will take away the redness in my nose that i have to use makeup to cover up

Stop zooming in! Gross!! 

I'll keep you posted what I think of it! 

Ok I'm off to church and trying to talk my husband into going to the Movie Big Hero 6 again since he hasn't seen it ;-) It really is SOOOOO cute!!!! 

You all are awesome!!! 

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous!!! 

XoXo,

*Lallenia*

The struggle is real.....

I'm SO sorry this is late!!! I meant to post it last night but got home late from the movies with my son and little brother Travis. I started writing and realized I wasn't making any sense at all (worse than normal) so I figured I'd finish in the morning ;-)

**If you are NEW to me... Welcome!! My name is Lallenia and I am on day 5 of trying to  not eat processed sugar for 21 days. I am blogging about this each day ... so really welcome to my diary (read at your own risk). If you'd like to start from day one you can here. 

Let's dive in!

Wait.. first I have to say WHOA! I'm slightly in shock of the number of people who read my last blog! Creepers.....

j/k  But honestly I really didn't expect that kind of feedback or readership.... I hope this means that more people are crazy like me. And go get help without feeling bad about it or think it will make others perceive them as "not stable". Especially knowing almost every single person who reaches their fullest potential do it.

NOW let's dive in!!

For breakfast: 
I had coffee (duh), rolled oats, sugar free syrup, cinnamon, blueberries and coconut milk... I love it.

check out that SWEET hunny bunny coffee cup ;-) 

I kind of had to rush out of the house this morning as I had my Dr. appointment for my shoulder.

On the way out I noticed my hubby and I were wearing our matching Big Birge shoes....

awwwwww HOW CUUUTTEE!!!!!!

Well... I guess they really don't match all that much... but still it entertained me. (I get easily amused if you can't tell) And if finding out I was crazy yesterday (in this post) wasn't already enough, Brad was confused at why I needed to take pictures of our shoes and then take 3 more because the first 2 made it look like my feet were bigger than his.... I didn't want you guys to think I have huge feet!

Speaking of crazy.... I had my Dr. appointment today for my shoulder (If you don't know already from previous blogs I've had a few shoulder surgeries on my right shoulder from a dislocation and it's not getting better). Basically in a nice way he said I'm crazy because i have the strength & stability he's looking for so I will need a second opinion to see why it's not getting better. I looked at him and said point blank, "Dr.----, Are you firing me as your patient?"

It was super amusing as I'm sure he doesn't get asked that too often. He kind of looked at me not sure what to say.... Isn't is funny how when people are asked things directly and to the point it takes them by surprise.... I let him sweat for a few seconds than laughed and said I'm just kidding but you are aren't you?

I need a second opinion because my bicep is still in a lot of pain and the anterior part of my shoulder is really tender where the long head bicep inserts into the shoulder. This has been going on since after my FIRST surgery (Jan 2011)! I figured the second one would fix it.... nope the pain and irritation and scare it's going to come out again it STILL there. =(

He thinks they may need to go in and release my bicep muscle (another surgery) If I ever want to swim or do push ups again... so I need to see another specialist to see if they also think that's the right route or can come up with another solution.

While I was there for almost TWO hours (waiting my life away...) I was reading my book of the week which is "Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.  (AWESOME read!)

I came across this:

Made this XL for you to read ^^^

This was rather motivating for my challenge. I totally agree that if you are successful but in bad health mentally, physically, emotionally, or sexually you will not be able to fully enjoy your success of any kind (not just money). If you look at these you will notice these are all things YOU can control and master if you choose to.

If you feel like you're stuck in a rut read down that list and figure out what "ill health" you are suffering from and get help!.... dig into this issue either with a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, journal, hire a personal trainer, research and learn on your own, or hey... even start a blog.... you'd be surprised at how much happier you will feel just by releasing yourself and being vulnerable as needed. Make it a priority in your life to develop you.

I'll go first!!! (OH!! pick me! pick me!)

From that list I need to work on:

A. Over indulgence in food not conductive to health... this is why I am (doing my best) to remove processed sugar for 21 days... I love my sweets and seriously will eat WAY more than you can imagine... this makes me feel and look horrible.

B. Wrong habits of thoughts, giving expression to the negative-I AM a positive person really but I find that sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough or deserve success in my life. I know this stems from allowing my thoughts to take me there so I am learning to redirect my thinking. (this is a constant battle and why I hired a therapist to work with me on these issues)

C. Wrong use of & over, indulgence of sex; Like I'm really going to talk to you about my sex life.... maybe when I can have a glass of wine again and am writing my blog we will dive into that (bow chica wow wow)

D. Lack of proper Physical Exercise- Believe it or not... I think I have more sense of balance with this now more than ever. I'm not working out near as much because of medical issues but I don't feel guilty if I miss a day. Yes i want to workout more intense and miss that part but I understand this is just a stage in my life at the same time.

E. Adequate supply of fresh air due to Improper breathing... I want to learn how to truly breathe in and feel the oxygen in me.... sounds crazy but I know people do this and find it very helpful... (maybe my next challenge who knows!?)

After finally leaving the Doctor office I had to run a few other errands so ate this delicious snack.

yuum! Quest bars to the RESUCE! 

For a snack I had tuna, cucumber and crackers... this is my go to snack... easy and good for you! Plus i love the  crunch of these crackers!! (no added sugar!)

After that Wyatt and I went with Uncle Travis to get sushi & see Big Hero 6.

We split 4 rolls so I didn't over do it even though I could totally eat that whole plate easily to myself! ....my son LOVES it! See! (yes i am bragging that my son is a great eater and is 4... because I set that foundation when he was young)

 

Uncle Travis an Wyatt... how cute!!!!!

If you get a chance you HAVE to go see Big Hero 6! OMG...I LOVED it!! So adorbable!!!  I will admit there were a few times i cried (some happy, some sad).... of course I am a huge baby in the movies which is why I prefer Disney movies because they always have a feel good ending (and I don't have nightmares.)

no worries we took this at the end when people were leaving. I'm not that rude! 

Can i just tell you HOW HARD it was to not eat the Reese's Pieces with the popcorn.... that is one of my ALL TIME favorite cheats is popcorn mixed with Reese's Pieces.....SO GOOD!!! I didn't even eat ONE! That's INSANE. I'm hoping this will carry on after this challenge to where I don't really crave sugar so when I can eat it I don't want to or only eat a little bit and feel satisfied.

I know several people who are able to have one bite of cake (one that taste good) and that's all they need... can I just say I hate you. If I have a taste of something that I just LOVE.... I want to eat all of it and have a hard time to controlling that. It's embarrassing admitting this but it's true. My husband said I'm like a little girl when I get to eat a candy or dessert I love. This is why I choose not to have it in the house. Lots of people say but thats why when you can't control it.... you want to eat all of it because you don't allow yourself to be around it.....

First of all thank you for your opinion BUT I'd be 1000lbs if I even tried to allow it in my house. It doesn't work that way with me.

I HAVE tried having things I that are my "triggers" in my house before like Nutella and  then only eating a few tablespoons... it's gone in a day. MAYBE Two if I forget about it for an hour.

I've tried having ice cream bars in my freezer.... 3 days tops....

I've even tried only eating half a pint of B&J Ice Cream.... before i know it the whole thing is gone....

I'm really not making jokes people.... the struggle is REAL. Sugar is super addictive and probably should be considered a drug as it kills more people than we probably even realize through underlying issues. Check it:

It's something I have to constantly battle and have since I was younger. Sharing with you this struggle, and doing this challenge has helped tremendously. I"m sure a lot of it is the accountability knowing I promise to tell you everything I ate that day and the fact people actually read this. If it was in my own personal diary.... I wouldn't get the same results. So thank you for helping by reading this and either relating and/or encouraging me.

I know so many people look at me and have a hard time thinking I struggle with this as I don't look like the "typical" over indulger.... that goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover can you?

I know I tell you this ALL the time but you all are the bomb.com! I really hope you find value in this and I can in some way help others who struggle with the things I do. I believe God is showing me my passion is being authentic about my life and my story. I'm learning so many others need to hear it and can relate in more ways than i probably realize.

Alrighty, I am about to take the little dude to the gym with me to have a sweat session since i missed yesterday!

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous even if it's a struggle... don't give up trying to become the best you possible!

XoXo,
Lallenia