The struggle is real.....

I'm SO sorry this is late!!! I meant to post it last night but got home late from the movies with my son and little brother Travis. I started writing and realized I wasn't making any sense at all (worse than normal) so I figured I'd finish in the morning ;-)

**If you are NEW to me... Welcome!! My name is Lallenia and I am on day 5 of trying to  not eat processed sugar for 21 days. I am blogging about this each day ... so really welcome to my diary (read at your own risk). If you'd like to start from day one you can here. 

Let's dive in!

Wait.. first I have to say WHOA! I'm slightly in shock of the number of people who read my last blog! Creepers.....

j/k  But honestly I really didn't expect that kind of feedback or readership.... I hope this means that more people are crazy like me. And go get help without feeling bad about it or think it will make others perceive them as "not stable". Especially knowing almost every single person who reaches their fullest potential do it.

NOW let's dive in!!

For breakfast: 
I had coffee (duh), rolled oats, sugar free syrup, cinnamon, blueberries and coconut milk... I love it.

check out that SWEET hunny bunny coffee cup ;-) 

I kind of had to rush out of the house this morning as I had my Dr. appointment for my shoulder.

On the way out I noticed my hubby and I were wearing our matching Big Birge shoes....

awwwwww HOW CUUUTTEE!!!!!!

Well... I guess they really don't match all that much... but still it entertained me. (I get easily amused if you can't tell) And if finding out I was crazy yesterday (in this post) wasn't already enough, Brad was confused at why I needed to take pictures of our shoes and then take 3 more because the first 2 made it look like my feet were bigger than his.... I didn't want you guys to think I have huge feet!

Speaking of crazy.... I had my Dr. appointment today for my shoulder (If you don't know already from previous blogs I've had a few shoulder surgeries on my right shoulder from a dislocation and it's not getting better). Basically in a nice way he said I'm crazy because i have the strength & stability he's looking for so I will need a second opinion to see why it's not getting better. I looked at him and said point blank, "Dr.----, Are you firing me as your patient?"

It was super amusing as I'm sure he doesn't get asked that too often. He kind of looked at me not sure what to say.... Isn't is funny how when people are asked things directly and to the point it takes them by surprise.... I let him sweat for a few seconds than laughed and said I'm just kidding but you are aren't you?

I need a second opinion because my bicep is still in a lot of pain and the anterior part of my shoulder is really tender where the long head bicep inserts into the shoulder. This has been going on since after my FIRST surgery (Jan 2011)! I figured the second one would fix it.... nope the pain and irritation and scare it's going to come out again it STILL there. =(

He thinks they may need to go in and release my bicep muscle (another surgery) If I ever want to swim or do push ups again... so I need to see another specialist to see if they also think that's the right route or can come up with another solution.

While I was there for almost TWO hours (waiting my life away...) I was reading my book of the week which is "Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.  (AWESOME read!)

I came across this:

Made this XL for you to read ^^^

This was rather motivating for my challenge. I totally agree that if you are successful but in bad health mentally, physically, emotionally, or sexually you will not be able to fully enjoy your success of any kind (not just money). If you look at these you will notice these are all things YOU can control and master if you choose to.

If you feel like you're stuck in a rut read down that list and figure out what "ill health" you are suffering from and get help!.... dig into this issue either with a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, journal, hire a personal trainer, research and learn on your own, or hey... even start a blog.... you'd be surprised at how much happier you will feel just by releasing yourself and being vulnerable as needed. Make it a priority in your life to develop you.

I'll go first!!! (OH!! pick me! pick me!)

From that list I need to work on:

A. Over indulgence in food not conductive to health... this is why I am (doing my best) to remove processed sugar for 21 days... I love my sweets and seriously will eat WAY more than you can imagine... this makes me feel and look horrible.

B. Wrong habits of thoughts, giving expression to the negative-I AM a positive person really but I find that sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough or deserve success in my life. I know this stems from allowing my thoughts to take me there so I am learning to redirect my thinking. (this is a constant battle and why I hired a therapist to work with me on these issues)

C. Wrong use of & over, indulgence of sex; Like I'm really going to talk to you about my sex life.... maybe when I can have a glass of wine again and am writing my blog we will dive into that (bow chica wow wow)

D. Lack of proper Physical Exercise- Believe it or not... I think I have more sense of balance with this now more than ever. I'm not working out near as much because of medical issues but I don't feel guilty if I miss a day. Yes i want to workout more intense and miss that part but I understand this is just a stage in my life at the same time.

E. Adequate supply of fresh air due to Improper breathing... I want to learn how to truly breathe in and feel the oxygen in me.... sounds crazy but I know people do this and find it very helpful... (maybe my next challenge who knows!?)

After finally leaving the Doctor office I had to run a few other errands so ate this delicious snack.

yuum! Quest bars to the RESUCE! 

For a snack I had tuna, cucumber and crackers... this is my go to snack... easy and good for you! Plus i love the  crunch of these crackers!! (no added sugar!)

After that Wyatt and I went with Uncle Travis to get sushi & see Big Hero 6.

We split 4 rolls so I didn't over do it even though I could totally eat that whole plate easily to myself! ....my son LOVES it! See! (yes i am bragging that my son is a great eater and is 4... because I set that foundation when he was young)

 

Uncle Travis an Wyatt... how cute!!!!!

If you get a chance you HAVE to go see Big Hero 6! OMG...I LOVED it!! So adorbable!!!  I will admit there were a few times i cried (some happy, some sad).... of course I am a huge baby in the movies which is why I prefer Disney movies because they always have a feel good ending (and I don't have nightmares.)

no worries we took this at the end when people were leaving. I'm not that rude! 

Can i just tell you HOW HARD it was to not eat the Reese's Pieces with the popcorn.... that is one of my ALL TIME favorite cheats is popcorn mixed with Reese's Pieces.....SO GOOD!!! I didn't even eat ONE! That's INSANE. I'm hoping this will carry on after this challenge to where I don't really crave sugar so when I can eat it I don't want to or only eat a little bit and feel satisfied.

I know several people who are able to have one bite of cake (one that taste good) and that's all they need... can I just say I hate you. If I have a taste of something that I just LOVE.... I want to eat all of it and have a hard time to controlling that. It's embarrassing admitting this but it's true. My husband said I'm like a little girl when I get to eat a candy or dessert I love. This is why I choose not to have it in the house. Lots of people say but thats why when you can't control it.... you want to eat all of it because you don't allow yourself to be around it.....

First of all thank you for your opinion BUT I'd be 1000lbs if I even tried to allow it in my house. It doesn't work that way with me.

I HAVE tried having things I that are my "triggers" in my house before like Nutella and  then only eating a few tablespoons... it's gone in a day. MAYBE Two if I forget about it for an hour.

I've tried having ice cream bars in my freezer.... 3 days tops....

I've even tried only eating half a pint of B&J Ice Cream.... before i know it the whole thing is gone....

I'm really not making jokes people.... the struggle is REAL. Sugar is super addictive and probably should be considered a drug as it kills more people than we probably even realize through underlying issues. Check it:

It's something I have to constantly battle and have since I was younger. Sharing with you this struggle, and doing this challenge has helped tremendously. I"m sure a lot of it is the accountability knowing I promise to tell you everything I ate that day and the fact people actually read this. If it was in my own personal diary.... I wouldn't get the same results. So thank you for helping by reading this and either relating and/or encouraging me.

I know so many people look at me and have a hard time thinking I struggle with this as I don't look like the "typical" over indulger.... that goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover can you?

I know I tell you this ALL the time but you all are the bomb.com! I really hope you find value in this and I can in some way help others who struggle with the things I do. I believe God is showing me my passion is being authentic about my life and my story. I'm learning so many others need to hear it and can relate in more ways than i probably realize.

Alrighty, I am about to take the little dude to the gym with me to have a sweat session since i missed yesterday!

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous even if it's a struggle... don't give up trying to become the best you possible!

XoXo,
Lallenia

Progress + Chocolate + PB = excited me!

My body fat is down about 3% in 2 WEEKS! WOOOO HOOO!!!!!!!!!
(In case you're confused as to what I'm doing read this blog first )
Can you tell I am excited?
I ONLY lost 1.5lbs from the SCALE but i lost 4lbs of fat! yes FAT loss is what i want NOT total body weight loss.
Check out this picture and you will understand why....

SEE!? Muscle LOOKS smaller than fat AND it burns more calories at rest than fat does. Do i need to keep trying to convince you to go perform some type of resistance training? If so here are some more reasons that lifting weights is better in the long run than just cardio:

1. Improving everyday performance in life (like carrying groceries and playing with children.)
2. Builds strong bones (helps against osteoporosis)
3. Helps fight against diseases and illness (like arthritis, diabetes, depression, heart disease and many more)
4. Protects against injuries by keeping your bones, joints, ligaments and muscles strong.
5. Improves balance, muscle control, and posture.

If you are a women with the thinking "but i don't want to get bulky lallenia!" Unless you're taking in obscene amounts of calories and/or steroids while lifting obscene amounts of weights, you WILL NOT get bulky! You will actually become leaner and more "toned." Toned is another word for having muscles on your body. I don't know about you but I like the look and the feeling of strong over weak and skinny.

I am not one that admires the look of Victoria Secret models.... well I used to when I was a teenager but that was before i discovered the strong, capable, and lean muscle look of fitness models. I used to dream about having a body like them. I never thought it was possible. I had such low self esteem and confidence. I didn't think I was ever petty enough, fit enough, smart enough or capable. I always thought i was so broken that no one would want me or like me.

I remember I always had to try to fit in with people in school. I didn't have cool clothing, I didn't know how to do my hair, I always tried to be good at sports but I only had "potential." I always had to work really hard to get anything right. I did not have much home support financially or mentally. I basically was lost and just fighting my way trying to figure out life on my own. Clinging to people and an eating disorder that gave me a sense of  security and acceptance, weather it was false or not I just wanted to feel like I belonged and like I was loved.

What does my little "feel sorry for me" story and strength training/working out have to do with each other? A whole lot!

Even if one didn't come from a background like mine and has the most amazing family in the world there is just something about having the ability to do push ups without being on your knees, being able to pull yourself up without the support of the assistance machine, squatting your body weight, sprinting up a hill without feeling like you can't breathe.... there is just something about feeling physically strong and seeing the definition in your body form that can change your whole out look on life.

Of course to get to be able to do these things didn't happen over night! I had to do thousands of push ups from the wall, then from my knees before I was able to do one from my toes, and pull ups.... I love them but they are so hard I'm lucky to get more than 2 wide grip but i still work to get more. It's taken me 2 years to be able to squat my body weight and sometimes I still struggle with the perfect form. Hill sprints freaking rock!!!! Yet they kick my butt every time! My point is seeing progress in the way your body and mind look, feel, perform and the strength you develop is rewarding in so many ways than just vanity. It has saved my life and my future.

This is my passion and something I will do my best to inspire others to feel and adapt as a habit. I will tell you out of my (almost) 8 years of personal training not ONE person as EVER regretted working out, eating healthier, and feeling stronger than they did the day before. It wont happen over night but if you constantly work at it, you too will reap the benefits of a stronger body and mind. Just make sure you know what you're doing and ALWAYS start off slow and steady at your own pace, don't campare yourself to anyone else.... focus on making YOU better.

Well this wasn't at all what was on the agenda for the blog this evening....haha I get a little passionate at times. Anyways.... 10 1/2 weeks before I step on stage half naked with heels that i don't even know how to walk in yet..... hmm... what am I doing this for again?????? ooooo yaaaaa.... because I made this as a goal 4 years ago and feel like if I don't do it now then I will regret not doing it. AND I really want another baby.... I do!!! Wyatt is getting so big and I am having baby fever. So if i can get this dang goal of mine out the way then I can check it off my bucket list =) Plus, I want to show myself I CAN look like those fitness models....I AM capable and strong enough to endure the diet, the training, and the dang 5 inch high heels. I got this.

I am just now starting to realize this is a competition. A REAL competition. I know I am going to be my best and look my best with the tools I have been given. I understand there is a lot of politics and what not so I am not going to expect a trophy.... but that doesn't mean I'm going to not give it my 110%.


Guess what  I made tonight....
Oh.My. GOSH. only the "dessert" that will keep me from feeling deprived during this whole dieting process..... I can't even tell you how freaking excited i am to share this recipe with you!!!!!! You ready for it????

Chocolate Protein Peanut Butter Mousse

I'm drooling right now thinking  of eating this again..... YUM!

1 cup Fage 0% fat Greek yogurt

1 Scoop chocolate protein powder

1 tablespoon coca powder 

1 tablespoon natural peanut butter (or other nut butter if desired) 

(can cut it all in half if need lower calorie amount)

Mix it all up really well...... ENJOY!!!!! 

Full serving

364 Calories

22g Carbs

10.5g Fat

48.5g Protein

I need to eat 2,000 calories a day so my night time meal can be about 300-400 calories and boy oh boy does this hit the spot!!!!
I tried it last night without the cocoa powder and PB.... wasn't the best thing I've ever made so tonight i needed 100 more calories from fat and protein.... so I added the crunchy PB..... simply delicious!!!!!

Ok folks.... it's WAY past my bed time!!! See I always have so much i want to write but I am silly and try to write before bed so I end up saying screw this and go to bed instead.... When I do write it at night I stay up later than I should.... maybe I will try writing during the day next time =)

-Keep yourself Healthy, Fit & Fabulous-
~Lallenia~

So BERRY cute Day 5 ... Awww NUTS!

TGIF! Now if only I could take a break from this Whole30 for the weekend like "normal" diet plans work I'd be super ecstatic! Unfortunately That's not how it works! No cheats on this bad boy! Today was another day of drooling at my sons breakfast. He decided to eat oatmeal TWICE today! I never envied a 2 year old so much.

You may be wondering if I am feeling any changes yet? Mentally I am being challenged for sure! Especially considering that my guys in the house are not following my Whole30. Which means I am surrounded by the food I am not supposed to eat and even have to cook it for them! If I weren't telling the world wide web about this challenge with this blog  I would tempted to "sneak" bites here and there because who is going to know!? I wouldn't have to report them to anyone so who cares? Then I would wonder why I am not getting the results I want in the end. I am a strong believer in karma so i will tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

If this is YOU taking this BLT's (Bites, licks, & tastes) and are wondering why you are not achieving your fitness goals... seriously write EVERYTHING down (measured and all) for 1-2 weeks to get a real idea of what is going in your body! You will be SHOCKED!

Back to how I am feeling... Mentally... challenged. BUT Every day I am proud of myself for not giving in. I just say only 25 more days to go Lallenia!

Emotionally, (Yes emotions and food go hand in hand especially if you are a female. I read a study about how women use food to express their emotions and Men eat because it sounds and/or taste good.) I get a little irritated when I realize I cannot have what my brain is telling me I want.

 Today for instance; we do our grocery shopping and to keep my 2 year old boy happy I always get some trail mix from the bins (I weigh it and pay for it) for him and my brother to snack on so they aren't driving me bonkers! Here is Wyatt lining up ALL the M&M's on the railing and telling me what color they are... I didn't care how smart he was at the time I just wanted to eat them.
SO I fished in the bag for the almonds instead hoping i would accidentally pull out a M&M and not realize what it was until I swallowed it.
No such luck.
He and Travis ate them all. So my emotions are fighting and getting upset because I REALLY wanted all of them just one. Then I felt proud and happy I didn't give in. This goes back and forth when your brain is trying to break habits. I expect it to happen now and understand I do not need to give in to the "evil" brain.

Physically, since I am being so honest here... I am a little nervous because I feel like I am not going to really SEE any changes expect weight gain from the outside if I keep snacking on so many nuts. I need to really crack down and portion size it or I will be needing super size clothing. Inside physical changes, I definitely notice more energy especially if I am unable to get as much sleep as I should I find I am able to cope a lot better!


Awww NUTS! Which brings me to my day today.... nuts nuts nuts... they are good but VERY easy to go overboard on like i am positive I did today... I know they are whole30 approved but i am sure not as many as I ate. No worries they are raw! (positive thinking) All my snacks were either almonds, cashews or sunflower seeds. I did have a handful of dried cherries with no added sugar also.

Breakfast was the same AGAIN! And probably will be tomorrow because we are almost done with those Brussels sprouts (i guess I'm the only one who likes them).

Lunch was my Tuna Recipe from Day 2 onto lettuce leafs... LOVE!

Dinner was supposed to be spaghetti squash with a meat sauce i made homemade (paleo style) but instead I over cooked my squash, we will just call it mush.

So I microwaved a sweet potato and put the turkey sauce over that.... its was ok.

This will make you smile. I let Wyatt play in the sink when I cook to keep him occupied & out of trouble. I was washing some fruit so he decided to help:

SO BERRY CUTE! He makes me smile (most of the time) BIG!

I better get to bed before I eat anymore nuts and I need to rest up for the Warrior Dash! ( I made Tee-shirts for the hubby and i.... hehe you will see our team name tomorrow.... =))

Sweet Dreams!

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*

4th day Whole30 + AMAZING recipe!!!

*sigh*

I am not a fan of this whole30 rendezvous right now. I just want to eat a piece of Ezekiel toast and a HUGE bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon. (mmmm) 

Oh. I'm sorry... I suppose I am supposed to be telling you how awesome this is and how great I feel... I do feel pretty proud of myself!!! That doesn't mean I do not want my rolled oats. maybe some crunchy peanut butter. OK and a little Greek yogurt with bear naked chocolate granola with added dark chocolate chips.  

Today was a little harder (can ya tell?). I was even starring at my sons grape nuts drooling. Then he tried to share! (the only time i will tell him no thank you when he tries to share...ok when he tries to share his boogers I decline those too!) 

My brother is obsessed with these french toast bagels (I allow him to pick out 3 things just for him when we go shopping, I am sweet i know) so he "shared" one with Wyatt today...well Wyatt kind of stole it from him... (they act like brothers, it annoys me cracks me up!)

 The result; Wyatt had strawberry cream cheese ALL over him and I helped clean him up... A little bit happened to be on my finger.  Immediately I go to lick it off. As i am about to swallow it i realize STOP Lallenia! I go rinse my mouth out and don't swallow it... funny right? (I am determined to do this for 30 days)

Breakfast was eggs and brussels sprouts again! (you should really try this!)
Snack

I was hungry still so after my drool session over grape nuts I grabbed some mixed raw nuts. 

I was STILL hungry, probably just cravings so I had some cherries and blueberries. I figured out if I play with my food Wyatt will help me eat the berries =) Great way to get your kids involved, i know "but my mom said don't play with your food". I honestly don't care if he does as long as he is eating it and it's going to make him healthy and strong. =)

STILL craving something after library time SO I poured a cup of heaven... after i took this picture I realized it said artificially flavored... really?? Way to rain on my parade! 

I teach cycle Thursday evenings so I try to make lunch and dinner together. You WILL LOVE this recipe... I like to pretend i came up with it because I did. I am sure there is something out there just like it but for my ego's sake it's Lallenia's recipe =) 

Oh and i am not yet a gourmet cook so if I tell you diced when it should be chopped, slivered when it should be halved, 350* when it should be 400*,  ect. I apologize ahead of time. 

Preheat oven at 350*

-Place 4-6 organic (or regular) chicken breasts or 8-12 chicken tenders into a bowl or zip lock bag with 1-2 tablespoons olive oil, natures seasonings, and extra parsley.

-Shake it all up! (get a little workout in! Shimmy shimmy shake!)

-(You can even let it soak over night for more flavor and tender chicken)

-Place in oven (i put it on a pan with foil paper for easier clean up) for 20-25 minutes

Multi task time! (if you're a mother you got this down!)

Topping for chicken (its not really a sauce?.. maybe it is...)

-Pan fry on med/high 4-6 flavor of choice organic (or regular) sausage (i love spicy) should take about 8-10 minutes

-(*Get the broccoli and cauliflower in the steamer right now--> usually takes about 15-20min for mine)

THEN 

-Place sausage to the side when almost finished and cut into little pieces 

-Leave a little bit of the juice in the pan to saute the following: 

-1 white onion diced

-8 mini peppers (or 2 whole) diced

-6 cloves of garlic (my obsession)

-when they are almost done put a can of natural diced no salt added tomatoes and the chopped up sausage in to mix all together for about 5-10 minutes 

Should all be done about the same time. It took me 35 minutes from start to finish. I made enough for dinner too =) Here is the result.... It was da bomb! (I know I'm bragging.... but I'm SO proud!)

I kept looking in the cupboards today to see if maybe i am surpassing some miracle cereal or cookie that I am "allowed" to eat. 

Still nothing. 

I proceed to drink some water with lime juice in it pretending it is key lime pie.... 

My usual snack of Almond Butter and a banana or Apple (today was banana).

 I measured the almond butter... this is what ONE tablespoon looks like...

So I had 2.... 

 I mashed my banana up with the almond butter and a few walnuts because it just sounded good! And it was!! It looks gross I know. 

Yes I use Wyatt's dishes because it is easier to portion control, takes up less room in the dish washer, and he is more willing to eat it if I am.  =) 

Dinner was same as lunch! Definitely earned some brownie (I wish) points with the Hubby on this one! (go me!)

Im sooooo tired from cycle it's time for bed! 

If you've lost motivation or need a little motivation or just want to read a great article about getting in shape here ya go! 

http://www.livestrong.com/blog/4-steps-to-get-back-in-shape/

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*

Day 3 and a confession.

Here we are!!! Day 3 of the Whole30 day challenge! I feel a little lost here and there but am still excited about this new way of eating. It also helps that I am doing it with someone so we keep each other on track and setting a small goal of only 30 days.

Breakfast consisted of Eggs over medium and Brussels sprouts. Yep. Brussels sprouts for breakfast. I hate throwing away left overs so I will use them in anyway possible; to my surprise they complemented each other very well. J

My Brother (Travis), ornery little two-year-old son and I went to the zoo this morning! Aren’t they so cute?  '

I brought raw nuts for me to snack on, pitted dried prunes and an apple. Easy and portable! (Steal this idea please) Plus Wyatt had to eat some of my nuts and prunes… lead by example! Oh & yes prunes sure do work “helping” you (& little 2 year olds who eat too many) out in some areas of life where you might feel a little “clogged”.

I have a confession (dun dun dun)… I’m learning that I take mindless bites of Wyatt’s food more than I ever thought I did. For the past 3 days I have stopped myself each time (GO ME!) because my mind is set on eating ONLY whole food for these 30 days so I am conscious of what I am putting in my mouth. I am shocked at how often I have to stop myself. I can see how people have a hard time getting the baby weight off or losing those last few pounds with these unconscious actions/habits. (If this is you take note. Be aware and honest with yourself)

Just to clear it up No, My guys do not eat “bad” food by any means! My boys still eat their normal diet for the most part  (You know the stuff that’s not approved for Whole30 yet it is considered “health” food by the rest of the country) but with more veggies and raw nuts. My husband made the comment after work tonight that he is feeling really healthy lately and has more energy… hehehe don’t tell him my secrets k?

Lunch was same as yesterday! LOVE the tuna salad recipe! (Canned tuna, carrots, celery, onions, garlic, avocado, your choice seasoning ALL mixed up eaten alone or on top of lettuce leafs)

Had another apple for snack with almond butter… I am going to start measuring out how much almond butter I’m using because I think I like it a little TOO much… I mean it’s only ONE spoonful right? (Yeah I know it’s piled as high as it can be and dripping over the edge… What do you mean that’s more than one tablespoon?)

Dinner was ANOTHER success.

Grass fed beef with peppers, onions, garlic, kale, broccoli and natures seasoning.

Do you see my obsession lately? Onions and garlic! I am amazed at how much flavor they can add to dishes! It’s wonderful!  

Evening Snack is seeded raw sunflower seeds... i love them.

There is SO much running though my mind I want to talk type about but need to figure out how to organize my thoughts because this is making me tired thinking this much! If you have any suggestions or questions for me please ask away! This is my job passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it! =) 

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*