Never again.....

NEVER AGAIN

Have you heard the Kelly Clarkson song called Never Again? (If not check it out here!)

I was thinking this ALOT these last few months.... Never again!

HA!! No, this not about my ex-boyfriend... (juuuuust kidding... kinda...) 

I am so BLOWN away by the response I received from my last blog post!!!  I honestly did not expect that kind of response and a few who reached out really took me off guard. To those who reached out and shared a similar challenge THANK YOU! I no longer feel so alone and scared.

Really.... WOW!! 

So after that week I learned a few Never Agains (feel free to add them to the beat of the song like i did):

"Never again will I judge you,

Never again will I think less of you,

Never again will I believe what's said about you.....

Never again....." 

This struggle of mine has turned into a major life awakening. I learned I had people categorized, judged, or on a pedestal. After opening up about my issues; I had women from all shapes and sizes reach out and have some kind of struggle that is causing them issues with fertility, weight loss, weight gain, hormone imbalances, and other things. 

I remember in my early days as a trainer (honestly up until this) I would think it's not that hard to get in shape & be healthy! Just eat less and move more. 

That's not always the case, it is MUCH bigger than that when it comes to becoming healthy. I can't tell you how many women I see at the gym who are stronger & faster than me and yet a few sizes bigger or smaller than me. I also know many "skinny" or "fit" women that are VERY unhealthy and "heavier" women who are healthier (& happier) than I could ever be.

(Photo credit to Glamour Magazine)

I found this picture and it really resonated with me. We need to STOP judging people based on their size and shape because each person fights their own battle of some kind. It sounds so cliche but everyone has their own struggles and challenges no matter what they look like on the outside or via social media.  

I wish I could tell you after my last post I felt so empowered that I've been successful with controlling my dietary & exercise habits.... FALSE.

I've been in some kind of denial or rebellious mission.

Overview of shoulder progress:

My PT told me my shoulder was inflamed & stop running or do  anything that may affect my shoulder. So of course, reluctantly, I stop all activity AGAIN. At this point I am about 18 weeks out from my surgery... In my mind... that's a LONG time I should be able to workout again!

Then Tuesday May 13th at 5:12pm I reach to let my son out of his car seat (like I have been doing for a few weeks since I've had that range of motion) and SNAP! My shoulder makes a pop, my hand goes numb, and I just screamed and bursted into tears. (my poor soon now makes sure i don't reach behind me and asks me to get out of the car to let him out so I don't hurt myself... sweet little boy)

I've had a little bit of set back clearly. My shoulder is not healing as fast as I want it to (23 weeks now)... meaning I am unable to get back into working out hardcore. If you know me.... I NEED to workout. I need to sweat, I need to push myself. 

This is a throw back picture to when I was  28 weeks out of my first surgery in 2011.  It's hard to believe I was able to workout and move so well that soon after my surgery! A side plank with one leg... SO much shoulder stability! AND on my right shoulder..... CRAZY I tell ya! 

i miss it

Saying these last few months have been hard would be an understatement. I can't tell you how many times I've cried myself to sleep or just screamed out of frustration because I just want to feel like myself again. (It doesn't help I work from my basement and my puppy (yes puppy... ) just looks at me like I'm crazy all day & chews up everything...)

"what do you mean I'm not supposed to chew up this bat...
and the pillow, and the blanket......" oh Zuek! 

I was talking to my handsome hubby about this and he said."I know this is hard for you but I love you no matter what. Besides, look at how great you are at this marketing & learning how to run a business. You're making things happen for us, I couldn't do this without you. If you didn't have this surgery and were so wrapped up in yourself, clients, and workouts we wouldn't be making such big strides with Big Birge Plumbing Co."

Of course he says that right??

 The more I have been reflecting on this journey the more I am realizing that life has a weird way of leading you where you need to be going. Yes. I feel like I am entirely out of shape.... bad. The good thing is I've not gained a lot of weight I just feel flabby and weak.... I hate it.

I do however LOVE how much time I have been putting towards learning, growing and developing a business and myself with my husband and our team! 

We even had an article published about us a month ago in the Omaha Magazines B2B summer issue about our Marketing. It really confirmed to me that yes this is where I need to be with my life. (but it's not all glitter and gold.....) 

(read the article HERE on page 13 & 14)

I HATE the picture they picked for page 14.... yuck...I look OLD and gross but whatever. I guess I can't complain too much as it is publicity for our business. I will post something about my experience with this in my NEW blog and my website called "A Plumbers Wife"..... THERE.... I said it!!!

So... I've been working on this idea and business model for a while. I have yet to put it out there because I don't feel ready BUT when will I EVER feel ready?? 

Here's my logo....(one of them)

eeeeeek!!!!!! What do you think??? 

I am smiling from ear to ear because I know I am so far from where I want to be but I am SO excited to go on this journey and share my experiences with you! From here out I will be blogging, making videos, and podcasts about my life as a plumbers wife! (how fun is that?) 

I am in the process of setting up my social media accounts for this. But you can "like" my FB page right now if you'd like... I'd love it if you did!! That will help me get going on it sooner! My website is also in the works! 

If you're wondering what exactly this will be: it will be about my experiences running a business with my husband and the ups and downs of it all. I feel like not many people really share all sides of the business or their lives in the process. 

As I start blogging and creating content who knows... maybe  eventually get into coaching & consulting! I am a crazy person about learning and growing and a coach by nature.... =) 

I really believe this is all happening because there is a point where you have to find balance and stop comparing yourself to the rest of the world and be the BEST you. I used to compare myself so much to other women and feel bad about myself image, my job, my family, my house, my car, ect. Well now I say screw ALL that! This struggle has shown me I need to be the BEST ME! Not the best fitness model, mom, wife, laundry folder, cook, bookkeeper... but ME! 

There is a quote I have been saying to myself lately I came up with.... Who you are today is NOT who you have to be tomorrow. 

You do NOT have to be who you were yesterday! If you don't like something about yourself or want a better life... the only person stopping you from becoming better is ... YOU!!!!

Yes! I am struggling with the fact I can't workout much but that doesn't mean I need to sit here and cry about it all day and eat Ben & Jerry's (oh but Americone Dream ... YUM!!) 

I know working out and eating healthy is what I do... it doesn't mean it's who I AM... it IS apart of me but that doesn't mean I can't grow and develop other parts of me as well to mold into the person I dream about becoming. 

I have learned life is REALLY, truly what you make of it and what you envision for yourself. 

I could keep going on and talk all about how I had to get a cortisone shot in my shoulder and passed out in the Dr. office but what fun would that be?? (Ha. True story. I am a WUSS)

Now that i have let it known to my peeps (that's YOU!) about A Plumbers Wife.... I better get over there and start working on my next adventure in life huh? If you could be so kind and "like" my facebook page or "follow" my tweets, I would be so giddy over it! And maybe even share it with someone you know who may want to be a part of the awesome community I'll be creating.

As always... Keep yourself healthy, fit and fabulous!
And don't forget to PLUNGE into the life of a plumbers wife =)

*Lallenia*