Lets Be Honest...

I am going to be completely honest here….. this is NOT fun for me right now….

I honestly do not know how people are able to do this multiple times in a year. I get the challenge of it and the discipline you need to own up to that can be rewarding. And maybe if I was not a wife and mother it would be different.

(start here if new to this little escapade...)

 I feel selfish.

 I feel like I am taking from my husband, my son, my family, my friends, my clients and my life. I know you need to take care of yourself but SERIOUSLY that doesn’t mean spending hours at the gym and ONLY cooking for yourself because your family does not want to eat dry fish and asparagus or chicken and broccoli for every meal. Then if you do TRY to cook for your family you end up ruining your diet… or a least I do! (Butternut squash never tasted so good!)
Or I have a breakdown and eat more than I should of THEIR groceries from Costco. I then beat myself up over it... No Worries. I am on a mission to find the baby lock locks we have for our cupboards in storage and making Brad take the key with him to work for the next two weeks! (Pathetic?? Um I think not)

Oh hey… yup this is the positive, encouraging Lallenia today right? Ha. Ha. Blame it on the lack of carbs FOOD.  Not that I am not eating…. I just feel hungry all day and I have been getting headaches lately. I suppose it is my body adjusting but it’s not fun.

My workouts have also been really pathetic. I do not have as much energy. Everyone is different but I like to lift heavy (for me), jump high, sprint fast, challenge myself. Not only do a set of 15 and feel exhausted. I don’t like doing a few sprints then get dizzy. I’m not a fan of NOT looking forward to working out. Right now I don’t want to workout.

 I don’t want to get up and go to the gym for fasting steady cardio then go home starving only to be able to eat eggs and 2oz of a sweet potato…. REALLY? Shoot I tried to eat 2 oz. this morning and somehow the whole 5oz ended up in my mouth…. Whoops .I guess that’s why I need to portion it out when I am not ravishing.

I miss my balance. I never thought I really had balance before. Any maybe I didn’t very well which is why I struggle with an eating disorder. So even though this really sucks it IS teaching me the value of having a BALANCE in not only dietary habits but also life in general. Its not fun obsessing over the little things and missing out on the things life is about (like running outside in beautiful weather appreciating this fall season).

Boy, do I miss running right now. Every time I see someone outside running I want to hit him or her with my car because I’m jealous. Even though I AM seeing greater results without running as far as muscle tone and strength... I miss it so much. Although, I am scared to run again because I am sure it will feel like I’m starting all over. I know I want to run at least 3-6 miles a week after this competition. Which isn’t bad compared to when I used to run 20 Plus miles a week because I thought that would get me in better shape, it definitely does NOT work that way. Running long distance i have learned only leads to having a lot of endurance (not a bad thing) and eats away at the muscle i did have (very bad if you want to be a fat burning machine).  Now I just CRAVE it for my sanity and sweat. 

It would be SO easy to quit right now. Because it IS hard. And I don't want to do this all the time. I want to go back to what was fun to me and what I enjoy...

I am sure you’re probably thinking OK Lallenia we GET IT you’re ANNOYED!! Now shut up and give us your results this week then go to bed so you’re not biting any ones head off (literally).

This week Stats:

Weight 134.4lbs (down about 2lbs from last week)

BF%: 19.07 %..... WTFlip? I wasn’t happy about only being down a quarter percent.

LBM: 108.6… urgh..... I LOST some muscle…. Not cool but to be expected

Waist is now a 26.75in (27.25in. 4 weeks ago) and my belly "love handle" bulge (measured right below my belly button) went from 34inches (6 weeks ago) to 30inches so far! Crazy (but good!!)!

My body fat didn’t go down much like I thought it would. This is because my back fat pinch isn’t changing!!!! It’s SO annoying that this is where I store my fat…. Just weird. My theory is because I hunched over a lot growing up (you JUST sat up straight right??) then have had shoulder surgery on BOTH shoulders which prevented me from using my muscles in my back for a long time. No worries, I am on a mission this week to make it go down a little bit! I will do the row machine and vertical rows like crazy.... plus my diet will be tightening up even more... If there's still no change then I don't know what to tell you.

My nutritionist told me that when you’re trying to get to a place your body has never been for the first time it’s going to be more challenging then if you’ve been there before. This makes sense. So when someone is trying to lose weight or fat the first time it’s a struggle to get it off.  Then when they do, if they steer off track it’s a lot easier for their body to gain weight again if they slip back to old habits. It’s doesn’t take as long to get there again when you’ve been there in the past. If I decided to do another show in the future it wouldn't take as long or be as hard for me to get my body fat down.

Below are the pictures i took this morning. Yes, right out of the shower, no make up on or hair done like my 4 week progress picture. I see more muscle tone this week and can tell my sides have gone down and my tummy a little bit... especially my "love handles". my arms look weird but the pinch went down a lot this week so it could be water or because they aren't "pumped up." I'll remember to do push ups before my next set of pictures =)

I know I still have a lot to do in 2 weeks!!!! 

BUT I will have to say... I think I looked better in my 4 weeks (minus my butt... that looks better this week) ! I look fuller! ...maybe its just the make up and hair done... i dunno. 

On a positive note I REALLY do LOVE everything I have been learning about the way peoples my body works. There is only SO much you can learn from the books. It’s truly the experience that makes it REAL and helps a person to REALLY  understand what is going on. I see why so many trainers do these shows &  have such successful clients. I see how people who have lost weight and kept it off are great motivators and trainers for those going through the process. It is kind of like taking marriage advice from a single person…. REALLY? Um no thank you. I'll take the couple happily married for 35 years. Experience. 

Speaking of married life…. My poor husband…. He must REALLY love me…. I know he has a lot going on in his life right now with starting his own business (www.bigbirgedrain.com) but he's trying so hard to keep me motivated and on track even when I tell him I don’t like him, that he is annoying or to not touch me (he hates this one the worst).  I really am truly blessed to have him as my other half. It also helps that I downloaded the Focus on the Family Marriage Podcast to keep me sane, entertained, and loving towards my family the best I can right now.

The take away today..... If you're in the Omaha area and need a plumber... CALL BIG BIRGE!
lol you think I'm kidding? Not at all, really please do! He's the best ;-)

These next two weeks I will be eating  am supposed to be eating:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, 2-3 oz sweet potatoes
Snack: Mahi Mahi and broccoli
Lunch: Mahi Mahi, broccoli & 12 almonds
Snack: Cod and broccoli
Dinner: 4-6 oz steak or salmon and 10 asparagus
Snack: 3 eggs

I hate LOVE my life. =) Wish me luck and a positive attitude for this week please!

 I just got these Paleo cook books I will only be able to dream about now.

Is it weird that I am craving a HUGE bowl of fruit? I don't really want anything but a HUGE edible arrangement or fruit tray right now. (even over carrot cake!!! Now That's CRAZY!)

Enough blabbing.....

Good Night World.

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*

I am giving up.

Yep. I'm giving up on trying to write these blogs at night time. I am so NOT a night person and have found it hard to get to bed at a decent time if I try to write before I go to bed. Then I have a hard time falling asleep because my brain is wired. (for those of you who know me I am sure you're thinking when is it NOT wired Lallenia?)

I know I have been MIA the past couple days! No, I didn't fall off the wagon! Actually stronger than ever on this challenge! I just have been enjoying the company of my husband being home a little more this weekend and had a little cooking feast with the recipes from the success guide for Whole30. AMAZING! (i will give you the recipes in a bit!)

This is Day 22 of my Whole30 challenge (http://whole9life.com/). It is pretty amazing to me that I have not had the desire for anything sweet since I started! Nor have I had the urge to binge. (now if you follow me on pinterest I just pinned a bunch of delicious looking recipes because I have been in a cooking mood and they just looked yummy. I am sure i will still make some things occasionally that are not whole9 approved but not nearly as much as I would have before AND I like to see if i can create my own healthy versions!)

I am thinking the couple who wrote the book is going to make some doctors go out of business if we were able to teach out of this book in school. I honestly do not understand why they don't teach us how to take care of our bodies in school. They expect parents to do it for their kids, but these days half of the parents cannot even take care of themselves! I can only imagine how successful we could be as a nation if children were taught at a young age how food affects your brain and body. I bet we would make healthier decisions if we were educated correctly. 

Not just from some Dr. on TV making money from telling us to go buy some supplement to help us feel better. Same with the packaged food that reads healthy heart or high fiber.... it is ALL a way of making money. Whoever is selling you their food or product is not concerned about you and your family. The companies are concerned about themselves and their families condo in Italy.

It is up to YOU to educate yourself and your family if you want to live a healthier lifestyle. I do not just mean a "skinny" or "fit"  lifestyle. I mean healthy as in wake up and feel confident in yourself and your abilities. I believe it all starts with what is on your plate. 

Remember; I did not have a family that was super supportive, loving or that encouraged me to be healthy (actually just the opposite). I made these changes on my own. So don't sit there telling me your excuses. I have not always been fit and confident, I have had many struggles and abuse throughout my life, probably more than many of you can imagine, and many ups and downs in weight and fitness levels.

 No,
 I don't want sympathy or attention from it all. I want you to use it as motivation for wherever you are starting. I absolutely HATE when i hear "You don't get it, You've never had to struggle with food or working out." I better stop right there because I will go on more of a tangent. 

Whew!! I am all worked up now.... *deep breath*....
As you can see I get a little passionate because I want people to be believe in themselves that they can overcome any obstacle that may appear in front of them. It's not always easy... I get it.  That doesn't mean it can't be done, and yes you may will have to work for it! 

I am finding a true love for cooking lately. I guess that means I am turning into a foodie? I don't know what that is.. .I suppose I can ask my search engine and it will tell me. (yep! I just looked it up and I fit right in!) 

This past weekend I made Shrimp and Salmon Chowder Paleo style... seriously delicious. I was excited beyond belief! I blew up the recipe for you below the picture. Unbelievable taste. Only thing i would have changed was to crisp the bacon a little better than I did and crumble it. 

I also made their beef and sweet potato stew in the crock pot. (haha and it's 90* outside... but these dishes are SO easy and so delicious)
Just remember to only go 8 hours not 12... it was a little mushy but still awesome!!!

I made a couple more that we will be having leftovers for these next few days but I hear a little boy calling for me. I think that means my time is up for now!

Oh and seriously check out the Whole30 challenge and Melissa and Dallas Hartwigs book "It Starts With Food." It will serisouly change your life.

Remember, what you put in your body is what you get out of it. If you're not liking your performance in any area of your life right now... don't go running to a Dr for pills... change whats on your plate first.

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*

So BERRY cute Day 5 ... Awww NUTS!

TGIF! Now if only I could take a break from this Whole30 for the weekend like "normal" diet plans work I'd be super ecstatic! Unfortunately That's not how it works! No cheats on this bad boy! Today was another day of drooling at my sons breakfast. He decided to eat oatmeal TWICE today! I never envied a 2 year old so much.

You may be wondering if I am feeling any changes yet? Mentally I am being challenged for sure! Especially considering that my guys in the house are not following my Whole30. Which means I am surrounded by the food I am not supposed to eat and even have to cook it for them! If I weren't telling the world wide web about this challenge with this blog  I would tempted to "sneak" bites here and there because who is going to know!? I wouldn't have to report them to anyone so who cares? Then I would wonder why I am not getting the results I want in the end. I am a strong believer in karma so i will tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

If this is YOU taking this BLT's (Bites, licks, & tastes) and are wondering why you are not achieving your fitness goals... seriously write EVERYTHING down (measured and all) for 1-2 weeks to get a real idea of what is going in your body! You will be SHOCKED!

Back to how I am feeling... Mentally... challenged. BUT Every day I am proud of myself for not giving in. I just say only 25 more days to go Lallenia!

Emotionally, (Yes emotions and food go hand in hand especially if you are a female. I read a study about how women use food to express their emotions and Men eat because it sounds and/or taste good.) I get a little irritated when I realize I cannot have what my brain is telling me I want.

 Today for instance; we do our grocery shopping and to keep my 2 year old boy happy I always get some trail mix from the bins (I weigh it and pay for it) for him and my brother to snack on so they aren't driving me bonkers! Here is Wyatt lining up ALL the M&M's on the railing and telling me what color they are... I didn't care how smart he was at the time I just wanted to eat them.
SO I fished in the bag for the almonds instead hoping i would accidentally pull out a M&M and not realize what it was until I swallowed it.
No such luck.
He and Travis ate them all. So my emotions are fighting and getting upset because I REALLY wanted all of them just one. Then I felt proud and happy I didn't give in. This goes back and forth when your brain is trying to break habits. I expect it to happen now and understand I do not need to give in to the "evil" brain.

Physically, since I am being so honest here... I am a little nervous because I feel like I am not going to really SEE any changes expect weight gain from the outside if I keep snacking on so many nuts. I need to really crack down and portion size it or I will be needing super size clothing. Inside physical changes, I definitely notice more energy especially if I am unable to get as much sleep as I should I find I am able to cope a lot better!


Awww NUTS! Which brings me to my day today.... nuts nuts nuts... they are good but VERY easy to go overboard on like i am positive I did today... I know they are whole30 approved but i am sure not as many as I ate. No worries they are raw! (positive thinking) All my snacks were either almonds, cashews or sunflower seeds. I did have a handful of dried cherries with no added sugar also.

Breakfast was the same AGAIN! And probably will be tomorrow because we are almost done with those Brussels sprouts (i guess I'm the only one who likes them).

Lunch was my Tuna Recipe from Day 2 onto lettuce leafs... LOVE!

Dinner was supposed to be spaghetti squash with a meat sauce i made homemade (paleo style) but instead I over cooked my squash, we will just call it mush.

So I microwaved a sweet potato and put the turkey sauce over that.... its was ok.

This will make you smile. I let Wyatt play in the sink when I cook to keep him occupied & out of trouble. I was washing some fruit so he decided to help:

SO BERRY CUTE! He makes me smile (most of the time) BIG!

I better get to bed before I eat anymore nuts and I need to rest up for the Warrior Dash! ( I made Tee-shirts for the hubby and i.... hehe you will see our team name tomorrow.... =))

Sweet Dreams!

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*

4th day Whole30 + AMAZING recipe!!!

*sigh*

I am not a fan of this whole30 rendezvous right now. I just want to eat a piece of Ezekiel toast and a HUGE bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon. (mmmm) 

Oh. I'm sorry... I suppose I am supposed to be telling you how awesome this is and how great I feel... I do feel pretty proud of myself!!! That doesn't mean I do not want my rolled oats. maybe some crunchy peanut butter. OK and a little Greek yogurt with bear naked chocolate granola with added dark chocolate chips.  

Today was a little harder (can ya tell?). I was even starring at my sons grape nuts drooling. Then he tried to share! (the only time i will tell him no thank you when he tries to share...ok when he tries to share his boogers I decline those too!) 

My brother is obsessed with these french toast bagels (I allow him to pick out 3 things just for him when we go shopping, I am sweet i know) so he "shared" one with Wyatt today...well Wyatt kind of stole it from him... (they act like brothers, it annoys me cracks me up!)

 The result; Wyatt had strawberry cream cheese ALL over him and I helped clean him up... A little bit happened to be on my finger.  Immediately I go to lick it off. As i am about to swallow it i realize STOP Lallenia! I go rinse my mouth out and don't swallow it... funny right? (I am determined to do this for 30 days)

Breakfast was eggs and brussels sprouts again! (you should really try this!)
Snack

I was hungry still so after my drool session over grape nuts I grabbed some mixed raw nuts. 

I was STILL hungry, probably just cravings so I had some cherries and blueberries. I figured out if I play with my food Wyatt will help me eat the berries =) Great way to get your kids involved, i know "but my mom said don't play with your food". I honestly don't care if he does as long as he is eating it and it's going to make him healthy and strong. =)

STILL craving something after library time SO I poured a cup of heaven... after i took this picture I realized it said artificially flavored... really?? Way to rain on my parade! 

I teach cycle Thursday evenings so I try to make lunch and dinner together. You WILL LOVE this recipe... I like to pretend i came up with it because I did. I am sure there is something out there just like it but for my ego's sake it's Lallenia's recipe =) 

Oh and i am not yet a gourmet cook so if I tell you diced when it should be chopped, slivered when it should be halved, 350* when it should be 400*,  ect. I apologize ahead of time. 

Preheat oven at 350*

-Place 4-6 organic (or regular) chicken breasts or 8-12 chicken tenders into a bowl or zip lock bag with 1-2 tablespoons olive oil, natures seasonings, and extra parsley.

-Shake it all up! (get a little workout in! Shimmy shimmy shake!)

-(You can even let it soak over night for more flavor and tender chicken)

-Place in oven (i put it on a pan with foil paper for easier clean up) for 20-25 minutes

Multi task time! (if you're a mother you got this down!)

Topping for chicken (its not really a sauce?.. maybe it is...)

-Pan fry on med/high 4-6 flavor of choice organic (or regular) sausage (i love spicy) should take about 8-10 minutes

-(*Get the broccoli and cauliflower in the steamer right now--> usually takes about 15-20min for mine)

THEN 

-Place sausage to the side when almost finished and cut into little pieces 

-Leave a little bit of the juice in the pan to saute the following: 

-1 white onion diced

-8 mini peppers (or 2 whole) diced

-6 cloves of garlic (my obsession)

-when they are almost done put a can of natural diced no salt added tomatoes and the chopped up sausage in to mix all together for about 5-10 minutes 

Should all be done about the same time. It took me 35 minutes from start to finish. I made enough for dinner too =) Here is the result.... It was da bomb! (I know I'm bragging.... but I'm SO proud!)

I kept looking in the cupboards today to see if maybe i am surpassing some miracle cereal or cookie that I am "allowed" to eat. 

Still nothing. 

I proceed to drink some water with lime juice in it pretending it is key lime pie.... 

My usual snack of Almond Butter and a banana or Apple (today was banana).

 I measured the almond butter... this is what ONE tablespoon looks like...

So I had 2.... 

 I mashed my banana up with the almond butter and a few walnuts because it just sounded good! And it was!! It looks gross I know. 

Yes I use Wyatt's dishes because it is easier to portion control, takes up less room in the dish washer, and he is more willing to eat it if I am.  =) 

Dinner was same as lunch! Definitely earned some brownie (I wish) points with the Hubby on this one! (go me!)

Im sooooo tired from cycle it's time for bed! 

If you've lost motivation or need a little motivation or just want to read a great article about getting in shape here ya go! 

http://www.livestrong.com/blog/4-steps-to-get-back-in-shape/

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit, and Fabulous!!

*Lallenia*