It's official....

(Oh hey.. are you new to me? My name is Lallenia and I am doing a 21 day challenge of no processed sugar in my diet... want to learn more about this challenge of mine? read this blog first)


Ever have those days where you have everything planned out and then nothing goes as planned?

Welcome. to. my. LIFE.

After taking that Midol PM last night... I could barely get out of bed this morning so missed that workout. I had intentions of going.... but of course the intention will only get you so far right?

**Side Note: I'm beginning to realize this blog is more or less my diary....
(you've been warned!! read at your own risk)


Breakfast: This was amazing!!!
2 eggs, left over meat from last night, 1/4 sweet potato... all mixed up! YUM!

oh yeah... and cheese on top!

I had planned after that to take Wyatt to his eye doctor appointment then go to my BNI meeting where I was going to eat lunch which would've been salmon, veggies and a salad.....

As it turns out.... Wyatt's appointment took a little longer than I anticipated. they had to dilate him and get his prescription figured out for..... glasses!!!! (ahhhhhhhhh)

Am I a bad mom to say I am slightly freaked out by this? I mean I know lots of little kids have glasses but no one in his class at preschool has them. And I hate thinking anything may be wrong with him.

Yes... I know.... Its great we find out now because if not he will have problems later in life and blah blah blah... right now I am just expressing my feelings that it's a little upsetting. Yes! thank goodness that's all that is wrong as some kids have it worse... I get it. Please don't send me some long email telling me its all going to be OK... I know it will be and he is healthy, that's all that matter. He may even grow out of them.

Now that's off my chest... he does look kind of cute with them on right??

Actually it's my fault he even has to wear them if it's a genetic thing which is why I probably feel so bad. I am supposed to be wearing glasses as well... and I do... when I'm working. I forget most of the time unless I'm at my desktop computer....

this selfie only took about 3 times =)

You'll probably learn something new about me everyday from this little challenge of mine huh? (Lucky ducks you!)

Anyways it was lunch time when we got done so I asked Wyatt what he wanted for lunch as he could barely see & I didn't want to take him back to school right away. He said sushi... totally my child!

We pull in to the sushi parking lot and he sees this place that he had his baby cousins birthday party at not too long ago... it happens to have Cotton Candy... yep he remembered.

So he talked me into going to this place called SALT.

How can I resist that face??? (glasses don't come for another week or so)

This menu is fairly pricey and I knew he wouldn't eat everything himself. So we shared.... it was his choice as this was a special mommy and me lunch...and i was still feeling guilty about the glasses.

He wanted avocado egg rolls and pizza.....

No worries I only ate 3/4 of the egg rolls and two slices of pizza.... It was THIN crusted.... I didn't touch the cotton candy... just licked his lips for the taste. (maybe a few times...hey it was banana flavored! Who has banana flavored cotton candy?)

I really didn't plan that.... I could've should've gotten a salad and let him eat the pizza... what fun would that be? I'm not training for a fitness show or anything and I didn't binge... (whoop)

There was probably added sugar to something here... it was funny as I did ask and of course the waiter said "oh no. sugar isn't added to our food unless it's a dessert".... (*sigh* pretty sure there is sugar added to dough... but maybe not... I'm going to go with not)

After this I dropped Wyatt off just in time for nap time... he was super excited... he loves his naps!! (who doesn't??)

Then I went to.....................................




I'm sitting here debating if I should tell you or not... no it's not food choices..... it's a little personal.

I suppose it won't hurt if you knew.

You are totally curious aren't you??

(Who are we kidding?? you know I will tell you.)


Then I went to my first......... counseling/therapist appointment since I've been an official "adult". (that can be argued)

Why??? You are wondering.... For what?

I mean can't you tell my life is so perfect..... (total sarcasm)

I have been doing a lot of self development lately. If you know me you know i am in LOVE with self development (aka Self HELP) books, podcasts, movies, blogs,... I love it all.

 I am a big believer that everyone can keep learning and getting better. Plus self help has helped me through a lot of rough times growing up.

I have a hard time reading fiction books or watching mindless TV.... I like to keep my mind busy and growing.... (OR I have ADD and haven't been given meds yet)

One thing I have noticed about these people that I admire and look up too... ALL of them talk about going to therapy.... yes! As in a therapist you sit there and tell all your issues too.

 I did some research with help from (Chalene Johnson) and found that EMDR therapy is a great type for people to use if they want to make it to different level in life or get passed barriers.

Many people let their past selves hold them back or other people... Many people play the victim in life blaming everything on everyone else and having a chip on their shoulder.

I don't want to be like everyone else. I don't want a life that's "normal". I want to perform at higher levels and reach my fullest potential in all areas of my life. (Again this is more of a diary today so forgive me.) I know the only way for me to do that is to figure out what exactly is holding me back from doing the things I have written for my goals in life....

I'm not just talking about making money... yes that's part of it because that takes a lot of stress off but I want to feel like I'm truly living the life God sent me here to live. (I'm sorry I'm getting all mushy on you)

My handsome hubby and I got into a "disagreement" last weekend (coincidentally right before my "friend" arrived for the month). We sat down and said let's fix ourselves so we don't end up having issues like many other people later in life and so we can have a deeper connection and even stronger relationship.

Our first therapist appointment was today. I can and probably will write another blog about this experience as a couple but can I just say.... I am SO blessed to have this man in my life....

I never want to lose this.

If you happen to be a married man/woman reading this.... one of the best things I think you can do is, if your spouse feels like you're not connecting or you want to connect on a deeper level get an outside perspective from a professional. Even if its just you... you will benefit.

Brad and I have a great relationship. I truly believe we are soul mates... our story of how we met proves it. But that doesn't mean we cannot connect on a deeper level and learn how to work better with each other. I am blessed that he is so willing to do this stuff with me and as manly as he appears (and IS) he's still very humble. And lets face it.. the marriages that last the longest all take work. You can't expect to marry someone then life is perfect... you have to work at understanding and growing together.

I think people are scared to admit they may need therapy .. I was AM! Yes it brings up uncomfortable feelings, yes it is kind of weird and Yes it costs money.... but imagine the money and progress you will make when you feel better about yourself and are able to get past your mental barriers!??

In a nut shell.... I have more issues than he does (does that REALLY shock you??) so I will be needing more sessions than he will but I am actually pretty freaking excited to see what this does to help me grow along with some other courses I am taking! I will keep you posted about the experience if you want!

This made me LOL!!

So now that we all know OFFICIALLY I'M CRAZY.... and it's confirmed by a professional.... lets move on to how my day went with my 21 day no processed sugar is going...

After I picked up my little man we went to pick up dog food and came across these beef sticks...

"Fatmans" lol...

They were yummy! no sugar added (bonus!)

Then yes I finally went to the gym and worked out my legs... it felt SO good. I really had to talk myself into it though!!! (i actually wrote this part <<-- before i went.... so I HAD no choice but to go)

Came home and ate left overs from yesterday and a pomegranate...  Have i told how much I love this fruit yet?? YUM!

I just have to tell you... I wasn't sure how this blog would be perceived... and as always I get a little nervous to just share my stories with the world as people perceive things so differently depending on what walk of life they come from....
 WOW!!

You all are awesome!!  I'm enjoying the emails & messages I've been receiving and support from you.

This does take time to write just as it takes time to read. I am so blessed to have such an awesome tribe that believes in me and I am hoping that by me sharing bits and pieces of my story & journey it is helping you, inspiring you. and adding value to your life in some way! If you have questions or something you want to know don't be afraid to ask... if you can't tell... I'm an open book (ta da!)

I really believe there will be a lot more coming from me so stay tuned even after I am done with these 21 days.... you all are MY inspiration!

Love you!

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous!! (and go schedule an appointment with a therapist so I don't feel like the only crazy one ;-))

XoXo,
Lallenia

PS Wish me luck as I have a Dr appt for my shoulder/bicep tomorrow.... I'm nervous!

Confessions.......

End of day 3! 18 more days of trying to stay away from the devil food... processed sugar...

I figured out why I almost died yesterday and feel so gross.... take a guess?

Nope not pregnant (really sad isn't it???).... quite the opposite....

yep! My "friend" came to play this month... (Oh hey, I'm really good at the whole TMI thing FYI.)

Side note: If you're a newbie... HIII!!!!! (that's me smiling and waving like a big dork!) you may want to start with this blog first to know what I'm doing... or you can keep reading and figure it out on your own. ;-) 

Anyways if you're a chick reading this you'll probably find this amusing and relatable. If you're a dude reading this.... good for you man! Don't go away! Keep reading... as it will give you some insight on the way women REALLY feel when their lovely red friend comes to town.

If you've followed me or know me personally you know I struggled with an eating disorder for a long time (bulimia... yes the one where you throw up your food... no it didn't make me skinny so don't do it). During the time of that struggle I also worked out... a lot... like ridiculous amount of cardio.

This caused me to  never have a "regular" menstrual cycle because my body was entirely confused on what to do with me... basically it hated me and is taking it ALL out on me now that I am starting to have a "regular" menstrual cycle. But it's not "normal" it's VERY painful now due to a few disorders I've developed. I believe my ED (eating disorder) is the reason I have what is called PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome ) and Mittelschmerz (This is a very painful ovulation).

 I could be wrong, but I strongly believe if I was taught how to take care of myself when I was younger, told I was beautiful, and learned how to eat to fuel my body not just because it tasted good I would not have resorted to the ED and not struggle with self confidence issues therefor wouldn't be having these woman issues.
(But then what would you read to feel good about your life and happy that you don't deal with all these "issues" like me? ;-)) 

If you have a daughter, seriously, teach her at a very young age about eating to fuel & nourish her body, tell her she is beautiful, smart and important. Even if you have a boy make sure to tell him he's handsome, smart, important and teach him about the foods that fuel his body and the ones that will make him sick later in life... (remember what you eat today will affect you tomorrow.)

Trust me! They listen!! My 4 yr old son isn't perfect (pretty close though) yet he knows to only have a little bit of "bad food" because a lot is bad for his body and he will tell you that. (No I'm not that crazy mom that won't let him have ANY "bad" stuff) He has cod liver oil every night, drinks tons of water and even refuses to eat ice cream sometimes because it's "bad" for his body.... trust me they listen!!!

This is a VERY powerful yet extremely accurate quote I remember daily when I am with my son:

Onward with my day of trying not to eat my entire fridge and pantry... yes this is true.... When it's that time of month some of us women really do just want to stuff our faces because it just seems appropriate and oh! so comforting.

Sooooo ..... I have a Confession.....

When I was a trainer and didn't have this "normal" time of the month (due to my over exercising) I always thought this was just an excuse to eat. I never understood my clients emotional and physical battle with this. I would just think... "Man that sucks to feel that way.... are you SURE it's not just because you don't have enough self discipline?".... Don't worry... I am getting paid back PLUS interest for not fully realizing this reality for so many women.

Yes, there is a kind of discipline but I have learned you also need to recognize and know your body so you know how to approach this situation and be ready for it. (like removing all tempting foods and scheduling out workout dates)

Moral to you males reading this (if you made it this far): When it's "that" time of the month.... buy her her favorite chocolate, some cute workout shoes, and rub her back to sleep for comfort... well maybe not that last one.. I've never met a man that would only "rub" a back for comfort... Be nice and don't get mad when she freaks out for no reason.... is that too much to ask??


Diary for the day:
Breakfast: 2 Eggs & Sweet Potato... don't worry I didn't dare attempt a picture of that again... your welcome.

Snack: I came upstairs from working and was like I NEED chocolate.... So i tried to ease my craving with this savvy little coffee drink....

I made coffee then used coconut milk and sugar free chocolate sauce to resemble a Mocha from Starbucks.... not even close to being the same... but i used my imagination!

Lunch: 10 minutes later I realize I'm STILL hungry!!! Nothing sounds good... I. JUST. WANT. A. BROWNIE. SUNDAY.... instead i literally FORCED myself to eat something healthy... because of you guys.... seriously if it weren't because of this commitment I made to the WWW I totally would've gone and sat at E-Creamery and ate a HUGE brownie Sunday to myself. I settled for a cheese stick and a cucumber salad.... BARF.

SEE! I can't even handle it..... 

But it looks pretty!

Even the cucumber didn't even want to go in my mouth!

I have ANOTHER confession to make here.... so it took me like a thousand times to take a selfie of my "barf" face.... no joke! How in the heck are people so good at taking selfies all the time to post up on social media and look flawless???

I mean check it out... in one i have a HUGE nose... in another my eyes are crossed, yet another I look like I have mental issues (not that there's anything wrong with that) but really... this is a lot of work....

Please don't zoom in this isn't filtered! 

Maybe I need some selfie lessons along with taking pictures of my food??

Snack: After a while I come back upstairs because I still want to eat my house....

I find this Trek Mix... I reach in thinking ok I can totally eat the cashews, chia clusters and almonds out of here and just taste the chocolate chips and dried cranberries on my tongue since they are mixed together... that's not technically eating the sugar right?.... That's like a husband saying "but Honey! we only snuggled together I didn't cheat!".... RIIIGHT.... I totally had a few pieces of chocolate chips and dried cranberries.... Please don't get mad at me!! I didn't have the whole bag!! I wont do it again!

For real though... I didn't over do it.... like at all.... and I feel guilty I even thought I could get away with smelling the chocolate chips...

The cool thing... this didn't make me give up and say FINE I blew it I quit and be done or binge.... Usually that's the pattern I would follow... this time I forgave myself and said hey get back on track.

I STILL wanted chocolate 30 minutes later!! SO I came up with this....

I ONLY had 1 TBLSP of PB because 2 TBLSP has 3g sugar... I know the container would look otherwise but that's because it's almost gone anyways! (I SWEAR!!!) I was hoping the chocolate stuff would taste better later in the day... yeah... it was ok... it tasted good on the PB!! (What DOESN'T taste good with PB on it.... (if you're my close friend reading this you're dying laughing right now!)
Overall this snack curved my craving.... not too bad!!!

Can you guess I was STILL hungry an hour later.... WTF?! I am thinking... this is crazy! I hate hormones! I thought I'll eat something kind of salty to persuade my sweet tooth away. I ate about 20 of these

Dinner: Now this was delicious!!!!

corn tortilla, cheese, grass fed beef, black beans, & taco sauce... low sugar and super yummy!! 

Bedtime snack: That chocolate tea I told you about yesterday my son picked out... SOOOO amazing!!!

mmmmmm I am sipping it right now... be jealous! 

I'd give today an A-.... an A because I didn't even touch the Halloween candy no matter how bad my evil side was telling me you all would never know! That's a pretty BIG deal!

As for working out... I was super lazy today... well actually I planned to go running over lunch but I had A TON of work to get done for this system we are implementing... ok and i didn't want to... who am I kidding.

Don't worry I plan on getting up early tomorrow to go! I desperately need to force myself since i ALWAYS  feel better after I do!

No I didn't do my measurements AGAIN! and no... no picture yet...  maybe tomorrow....

Ok I'm going to take a Midol PM and go to bed... (because you wanted to know that!)

Keep yourself Healthy, Fit and Fabulous one step at a time!!

Love you all!

XoXo,
Lallenia

PS If you want some awesome recipes to use and inspiration for overcoming an ED check out one of my friends blogs here... it's totally awesome!